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9 Valentine's Day Gifts You Can Get Your Own Damn Self | Autostraddle

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9 Sensual Gifts You Can Get for Your Own Damn Self This Valentine’s Day

I get it — Valentine’s Day isn’t for everyone. From the commercialism to the hyper-focus on straight, monogamous relationships, there are plenty of reasons why this holiday rubs some of us the wrong way. But like I said last year, I believe in seizing every opportunity to enjoy life a little more — especially in February — and so, by the power vested in me as Autostraddle’s Sex & Dating Editor, I hereby grant you permission to get yourself a little V-Day treat, whether you’re “officially” celebrating this day or not.

Here are nine, sensual gifts you can get for your own damn self this year. While these gifts suit a variety of budgets, they all feel at least a little fancy.

An Array of Tinned Fish from Fishwife (prices vary)

Last year Kayla delivered a critical message: It’s time to get into tinned fish. And you don’t have to save your fancy tinned fish for a date night! You deserve an elaborate spread while you watch Homeward Bound by yourself in your sweat pants. If you’re an A+ Member, you get access to Autostraddle’s A+ Marketplace, which gets you 15% off your Fishwife order.

Underwear (prices vary)

Give your ass something nice to sit on. Personally, I’m a fan of MeUndies — they make ridiculously soft underwear in a variety of styles and prints (check out this Black Panther print, this pie print, or this inspiring “FUCK IT” print — sizes range from XS to 4XL). Are you more of a lingerie person? Check out Dani’s shopping guide for plus size lingerie. At the very least, replace your hole-iest pair of undies with a new pair from whatever brand suits your budget and your booty’s needs.

Tula Toy Mount ($100)

Single folks deserve to ride and grind hands-free, too! Each pocket on the Tula toy mount can hold a dildo or vibrator. You can also use the mount on its own as a positioning pillow during sex or solo play. Oh, and in case you get really, um, “jazzed” about your hands-free humping, don’t worry — the zip-off cover is moisture resistant and machine washable. If your budget won’t allow you to drop $100 on a toy mount, gift yourself a suction cup dildo (like this $27 option) instead.

Foria Sensual Bath Salts ($38)

This Valentine’s Day, take some time to unwind. Upgrade your bath routine and try out Foria’s bath salts, which are infused with organically-grown kava, lavender, calendula, ginger, and 200mg of broad-spectrum CBD. For a budget-friendly option, snag some Dr. Teal’s Epsom Salt for $5.

Truffles from the Queer Chocolatier (prices vary)

If you don’t have a partner who’s going to buy you chocolate (or if you do have a partner and they’re not buying you enough chocolate), get yourself some truffles from the Queer Chocolatier — that way, you can fulfill your craving while supporting a queer-owned business. The company’s brick-and-mortar store is located in Muncie, Indiana, but they can also ship their truffles, drinking chocolate, and chocolate bars anywhere in the US.

Erotica (prices vary)

Warm up this winter with some erotic fiction, like Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year, Volume 6 ($18.95). If you’re more of an audio erotica person, subscribe to Dipsea for $12.99/month and hear sexy stories read aloud by queer babes like E.R. Fightmaster. And for as little as $4/month, you can subscribe to A+ and get access to Autostraddle’s S L I C K erotica series, along with other perks.

CTOAN’s “Angel” Candle ($29)

I included CTOAN’s booty candle in a holiday shopping guide last year. This time, I’m highlighting the queer-owned, Black-owned company’s oh-so-sexy “Angel” candle, which comes in four different colors and four different scents (there’s also a fragrance-free option). Light it, watch it melt, and drool.

A Massage (prices vary)

Wouldn’t it be nice your shoulders didn’t feel like lumpy cement? Even if you have a partner who’s willing to rub your back, you deserve a massage from a professional (unless, of course, you happen to date a massage therapist, in which case — congrats! You’ve won). If a professional massage is out of your price range, trade neck rubs with a friend.

The Rosae Rose Grinder ($58)

Buy yourself a different kind of rose this Valentine’s Day. This silicone toy offers a unique texture for solo grinding, and you can also pass it off as a “decoration” on your bedside table. If you prefer butt stuff or if you’re on a tighter budget, try this Booty Blossom Butt Plug ($28) instead.

A Fancy Beverage (prices vary)

I don’t know which flavors you prefer, so rather than recommend a specific product, I’m just going to suggest that you get yourself a bottled or canned beverage that feels “fancy” to you (like your favorite kombucha or a CBD soda or maybe just a La Croix) or pick up some ingredients for a perfect hot chocolate, latte, mocktail, or cocktail. At the very least, sprinkle a little cinnamon in your morning coffee. You deserve some extra flavor in your day.

Are you planning to be your own valentine this year? How are you going to show yourself some love? Tell us about it in the comments!

Ro White

Ro White is a Chicago-based writer and sex educator. Follow Ro on Twitter.

Ro has written 98 articles for us.

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